The Nyeusigrube University of Fanfiction
by ShadowReader
Summary: We at NUF have had ENOUGH. An OFUM spin-off, with permission from Miss Cam.
1. The Application

Disclaimer: Nyeusigrube and all of its inhabitants belong to AAR. The university of fanfiction concept belongs to Camilla Sandman.

This story is dedicated to Miss Cam, without whom we'd never have discovered mini-balrogs, Naturally Nine, the color urple, and the warm and fuzzy feeling of seeing "learning through pain" in action.

Note: We are accepting applications now. Let me know if you'd like to be added.

**Chapter 1- The Application**

_Raven's hair felt soft and silky between his fingers. He tightened his hold on her hair as he lowered his mouth to her throat. She let out a low moan as his lips caressed her throat, fangs gently touching her skin. _

_ "Aubrey-" she gasped._

_ "No," he said, taking a hand out of her hair to put a finger on her lips. "Be silent. It'll ruin everything." She did not say a word, but nodded. _

_ He kissed her, the sensation soft, and yet strangely searing. His kiss was enough to heal the wounds she'd received at the hands of her former lover, almost enough to heal the emotional scar that was her mother's rejection. But Raven needed more than a kiss. She needed, wanted him and only him, body, soul, mind._

Crack!

Crack!

Emily sighed; her knuckles felt much better now. The urge to crack had been strong for quite some time now, and it felt good to be able to indulge it. Tossing her dyed black hair over her shoulder, she began to type again.

She hadn't gotten farther than four words when the eerie sensation of being watched stole over her. She looked over her shoulder, and gasped when she saw the two people standing there.

Emily stood up fast, knocking over her desk chair. There was a boy and a girl, both wearing black. The boy had dark hair, as did the girl. They were both pale, and the girl was carrying a briefcase.

"Excuse me," said the girl, flashing fangs. "You are… Raven Silverhawk, am I correct?"

"Um…" was Emily's brilliant answer as her brain struggled to keep up with current events. One minute she was writing the next chapter of her awesomely popular fanfic, the next she was being interrogated by a boy and girl whose idea of style was "monochrome". "Uh… yes?"

"Ah, good," said the boy. "We were afraid we'd come to the wrong place."

"You see," said the girl, "We're trying to track down all the authors of fanfics who write Amelia Atwater-Rhodes fanfiction. It is very important that we do so, just as it is very important that you fill out the form we give you." The girl opened her briefcase and produced a sheaf of papers the size of a dime-store novel, as well as a folder. She put it on the desk and said, "Fill this out in its entirety please. Remember, every bit is important."

"And have fun," the boy added. And then they were gone.

Emily stared at the place where the pair had stood. Finally, her brain realized that they, in fact, were gone and the chair was still upended. She set it upright, and sat down in it before taking a look at the papers.

She gave a loud gasp when she opened the folder. No. It couldn't be. But it was. There in big bold letters were the following words:

**Nyeusigrube University of Fanfiction**

She flipped through the booklet, catching sight of classes with titles like "Why We Change People Into Vampires" by Ather, "History of the Vampire" by Siete, "When Words Fail: Mind to Mind Communication and Why We Like It" by Aubrey, and "Care And Keeping of Your Pet" by Risika.

Emily couldn't say anything. If she had taken hard-core drugs, that'd be one thing, but her last trip had been over a year ago and that was when she confused "teaspoon" with "tablespoon" and ended up with too much sugar in the cookies…

_Right, that's it_, she thought. _I'm sick and tired of being pranked! I'll answer their stupid form, and then…. I'll tease them!_

It should be noted, perhaps, that Emily was not the most dangerous of teens around.

She sat down with the form, and filled out the blanks. When she was finally finished with the form, she was too tired to continue her story. A little peeved that her flow had been broken, she went upstairs to her comfy bed.

When she woke up the next morning, she was in a completely different one.


	2. Orientation

Disclaimer: Nyeusigrube still belongs to AAR. The fanfiction university concept is still Miss Cam's, which she has kindly let me borrow.

PensivelyRealistic: Thanks

Narina Nightfall: Just give me a species and who your lust object is, and you'll be all set. This goes for anyone who wants to apply as a student here.

**Chapter 2: Orientation**

After screaming her head off and being rushed at by several of the other girls, Emily began to calm down a bit. It wasn't so bad, really. The dormitory was decorated in a, well, undecorated fashion, and the girls were nice. It was Orientation day, apparently. They'd all woken up in bed, and after a few unfortunate incidents involving a hysterical girl, an open window, and gravity, they'd figured out where they were.

Emily finally was able to change her clothes (which had somehow mysteriously appeared in a suitcase next to her bed), and decided to risk a look around.

The university was huge, almost bigger than the town. She had been confused for a moment, until she realized that this was Nyeusigrube. Which meant there was only one town worth knowing about.

She was walking down the streets of New Mayhem.

It gave her a thrill, a rush. Here, at last, she would be accepted. Her inner vampire would flourish, and she would be turned, and become a childe of the night.

Unfortunately, a lot of other girls seemed to have the same idea.

There were some who were lucky enough to have put "vampire" as their species on their forms, and were baring their fangs and fighting every chance they got. Others had put witch, and depending on the type, were trying to fight or heal others. Then there were the shapeshifters, who were so excited they kept turning into the animal of their choice at random moments. There were some rather odd species of shifters there too. Emily was pretty sure that dragon or phoenix shifters didn't exist, but apparently that was not the case, especially when the dragon set her hair on fire after catching what the shifter thought was a glimpse of Aubrey.

Somehow, the crowd ended up at the Main Hall of the university. Perhaps it was the sign "Welcome, Students" that did it, or the rumor that Aubrey was there. Whatever the case, the crowd surged towards the building. Emily was caught in the tide and helplessly dragged along. They ended up in a sort of auditorium, and after finding their seats, most sat down.

Then Siete strode onto the stage.

There was silence for a few minutes as the students tried to remember who the heck he was, before deciding that if he wasn't Aubrey, he wasn't important. Whispering and laughing again filled the hall, until Siete cleared his throat.

"Excuse me," he said. After getting no response, he tried again. Louder. And louder. Until finally he stopped speaking altogether, and simply glared at the students.

_Welcome, class._ Emily gasped at the alien voice in her head. Several of the other students were startled as well, and more than a few began shrieking. _QUIET!_ Came the thought in their heads. They all calmed down, except for the girl two rows down and three seats over, who was in the middle of a hysterical screaming fit and didn't like to be stopped. She was escorted out by two vampires, though perhaps "escorted" is too mild a word.

"Now that I have your attention…" Siete drawled. "Welcome to the Nyeusigrube University of Fanfiction. We hope you enjoy your stay" there were some snickers offstage at this point, "and that you learn much." At this juncture there was open laughter, though not from the students. "And now, a word from our student director, Risika."

The blonde strolled onto the stage, catlike grace in every movement. She stood at the podium and surveyed the students.

"Stupidity will not be tolerated. Fangirlism will be sneered at. Try to feed off of your fellow students, and you will get your ass kicked. Remember, the normal rules of vampires do not apply here. Oh" and here she smiled sweetly "for those of you who said that you were a fledgling of mine on your application, remember this: I do not know you. Do not attempt to befriend me. I will hurt you. Books, supplies, and class schedule are in your rooms. Classes will start tomorrow night at seven. Dismissed."

The students merely stared at her. She smirked back. It gradually dawned on the students, just like it dawns on a mouse staring into a snake's eyes, that being digested isn't such a great way to go. Well, this wasn't exactly the thought that went through the students' heads, but it was pretty similar. The students suddenly got up and rushed out the door. Emily went with them, unable to shake the feeling that, somehow, she'd just escaped dishwashing duty at a restaurant.

Little did she know that even now, a chore roster for the students was being drafted by a dark and dangerous being, who plays with men's fates as though they were pawns…


End file.
